


500 Days of Louis

by bluths



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 01:56:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluths/pseuds/bluths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story of boy meets boy. But first off, you should know, this isn't a love story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

This is a story of boy meets boy. When Liam Payne, an average, plain, soft-looking boy met Louis Tomlinson, his entire life changed. Everything he knew around him was forgotten and he could only see life through Louis. Nothing would ever be the same after him, or before him. It was as if time stopped completely and all other thoughts seemed to vanish from his mind. Nothing else seemed to matter and no one could get Liam out of his trance. It was as if he was under Louis’ spell. But first off, you should know, this isn’t a love story.

Louis didn’t believe in love, he was bitter at love. It was all just make believe, something that people thought they had a hold on and actually understood. To him, love was like running through smoke, you could smell it, and it would run through you, but you’d never really touch it or  _feel_  it.  His father had left his mother, his best friend, one bitter February day just last year. He could still remember holding onto his younger sister while she cried into his shirt, begging his father not to leave as he stormed out of the house, vowing to never come back. He didn’t. And Louis could remember his mother saying how his father was ‘the one’ and how they were made for each other. They weren’t.

Liam has always been a strong believer in ‘the one’. He had always believed that someone would come along and sweep him off of his feet and change everything as he knew it. Life would stop for that person and everything would fall into place so perfectly. His heart would beat so fast around that person, and that person would be all he could think about. He believed in love, he believed that nothing was better than love. He had been told since he was very young that he would meet his soul mate one day. And he was convinced when he saw Louis Tomlinson that he was, in fact, the one. He met Louis January eighth.

_Day 290_

Harry sped down the street, ignoring stoplights and stop signs, weaving in and out of traffic. It was 11:30 on a Tuesday night and here he was speeding, risking his life, car, and his license, to get to Liam as quickly as he could. The pedal was practically pushed to the floor as he scanned his eyes out the windshield, looking anxiously for police. His mother had tried to stop him from leaving, saying it was too late to be going out on a school night. Harry waved his had in defiance insisting that Liam had needed him. And now, as every single car that he passed by blew their horn furiously at him, he wished he’d taken his mother’s heed.

He did a shit job at parallel parking, the front of his car completely on the sidewalk as he hastily locked the doors and dashed up the steps. He pressed the doorbell, waiting for a buzz that signaled his admittance. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him as he sprinted up the stairs, ignoring the sweat that was collecting on his brow. He flung open the door so see Niall and Zayn, sitting on the couch and looking up at him nervously.

“Oh, thank God,” Zayn sighed, closing his eyes and looking relieved.

“Where is he?” Harry asked without another word, looking around trying to find his elder brother.

Niall pointed towards the kitchen and Harry rushed inside, seeing Liam sitting at the kitchen table with his head hung low, a half empty bottle of vodka clutched loosely in his hand. He hiccupped and looked up at Harry with a sullen smile. Harry frowned at him, knowing that Liam wasn’t really supposed to be drinking at all. And he knew that Liam had known that as well. He let out an exasperated sigh and snatched the vodka out of Liam’s hand, and, despite his protests, drained the rest of it into the kitchen sink. He pulled Liam up by the wrist and led him into the living room.

They all sat around Liam and he refused to look up, his sunken brown eyes fixated on something across the room. He looked horrible, stubble beginning to form along his chin, his eyes encircled by heavy bags, his clothes were stained, and he smelled a bit. Harry had never seen his brother like this over anyone; it wasn’t like Liam to get this way. He threw a worried glance at Niall and Zayn; they merely shrugged their shoulders in return, unable to be any sort of comfort to their best friend.

“What the hell happened to you?” Harry demanded, tapping Liam slightly on the cheek, trying to get his attention.

“Things were going so well,” Liam began his voice faint and morose. “Then… just like that.”

He could remember it so vividly; just a few hours ago he had received a text from Louis saying they should meet at the local café. His head was spinning, Louis had seemed so distant from him lately, and he hoped that maybe this would be his grand apology. Louis always liked to do things like this whenever he was being rubbish, he would always take Liam out someplace and shower him with food and presents and, lastly, Liam’s personal favorite, his kisses. He had gotten dressed up in something not too fancy and not too casual, straightened his hair and made it look nearly perfect.

He was practically bouncing in his seat when Louis entered the café, five minutes late, but there, nonetheless. He smiled and waved enthusiastically; Louis removed his sunglasses and smiled weakly, sauntering slowly over to the table and sliding into the booth across from Liam. They chatted for a little about nothing in particular, and Liam’s stomach dropped at how it sounded so much like how they were before they began seeing each other. The awkward small talk to build a wall, and Liam had thought that wall was finally broken.

“I think we should stop seeing each other.” Louis was firm, and Liam tried to detect some type of wavering in his voice but he just couldn’t.  That was what hurt him the most. That Louis could be so calm about this ending, that Louis was so quick to just let him go.

“ _What_?” Liam sputtered, trying to get a grip.

“I’m just not happy,” Louis admitted, shrugging his shoulders.

“What are you talking about, Lou, how are you not-“

“ _You’re_ happy?” Louis inquired surprisingly. “How, all we ever do is argue?”

“Well that’s not true!” Liam said, puffing out his lower lip and sinking back into the booth. He looked like a child, and he felt like one.

The woman came out with their food - her name was Lisa - and she gave him a nurturing smile as she set his plate of pancakes down in front of him. He wondered what she thought of him in that moment, pouting like a little child, Louis cutting into his pancakes with an almost  _cheerful_ look on his face. He wondered what he thought about  _them_  and then he realized that there was no them. There was never a them, it was always just Liam hopelessly pining for Louis to love him.

“I’m so glad we did this,” Louis spewed jovially between mouthfuls of food. “This is really nice that we can get together like this.”

Liam didn’t say anything; he sat there with the same stony faced expression, arms still folded and eyes blinking rapidly to fight back the tears that threatened to leak out. Louis was too busy with his food to notice Liam’s discomfort and distress and that truly killed Liam; he didn’t understand how this was something so hard for Louis to stomach.

Louis finally looked up, his brows furrowed and he asked worriedly, “Liam…what’s wrong? Are you alright-“

Liam just rolled his eyes and slid out of the booth, storming angrily out of the café. He stopped momentarily at Louis, who yelled out that he was still his best friend, and those words stung more than if Louis would have just left him well enough alone.

“Well, I mean,” Zayn began a bit carelessly, “You know what they say: Plenty of fish in the river or something like that, right?”

Niall winced and shook his head at the ridiculous cliché. “Mm, no mate.”

“What, that’s what they say isn’t-“

“No,” Liam muttered darkly, looking up with a glare. “This is different; this isn’t just any other guy. This is Louis.”

“What makes him so special?” Harry shot at him, a bit harshly.

“He’s just…” Liam shook his head. “I can’t explain him, he’s just… Louis.”

“But you’ll find someone else,” Niall said.

Zayn nodded in agreement. “Someone better.”

“You’ll get over it,” Harry concluded.

“No,” Liam said, his voice disturbingly calm. “I don’t want to get over him. I want to get him back.”

_Day 1_

It was a regular day at the office for Liam; he had just gotten back from the holidays, spending it with his mum and sisters and Harry as usual. It was blistering cold outside and Niall greeted him happily at the front door, chatting about how he had met some really cute girl on holiday in Italy, holding a coffee for him. Liam and Niall had been best friends for nearly three years now, as long as they had both been working there, and since then he’d made his own little group with Zayn and Niall. Niall made work a bit more bearable each day by causing Liam to erupt into a fit of laughter at the computer parallel from his best mate.

Liam hated his job, and he wasn’t even sure exactly how it had all started either. He had gone to school to be an architect, and he was one of the best in his class. Somehow he’d just lost all motivation after school and barely managed to even keep his apartment. However, his mother had known his boss, Tim, for several years, and Liam got in right away. He made a decent income, and he was one of the most highly ranked employees. I mean, as high up as you could get, making slogans for greeting cards. But he worked with people he liked and usually enjoyed his work day (again, as much as you could making slogans for greeting cards).

It was just another regular day of sitting in another meeting, trying to come up with new cards saying the same thing, just the words mixed around a little bit. But, suddenly, Liam lost sight of what they were talking about when he saw  _him_. A flash of red followed by white, and he looked up and saw one of the most beautiful men he had ever set eyes upon. His soft blue eyes spoke volumes, his honeyed brown hair stuck out from his forehead as he bent over and whispered something into Tim’s ear.

Tim nodded and then as he began to walk away Tim began, “Ah, wait. You guys, this is Louis, Louis Tomlinson. He’s my new assistant and he came all the way from… where was it again, lad?”

“Doncaster,” Louis responded, his voice smooth and silky, and Liam felt his eyes widen.

“All the way from Doncaster, that’s right.” Tim nodded eagerly. “And we’ll all make him feel very welcome, won’t we gang?”

Everyone nodded and replied their agreements in monotonous unison. But Liam could hardly breathe, his eyes on Louis as he walked out of the room. Louis didn’t even notice him, but Liam could honestly care less. Niall was trying desperately to grasp Liam’s attention from across the table, but Liam was transfixed. Liam was in love.

_Day 3_

“I heard he was a total douche,” Niall said suddenly one day, interrupting Liam’s never-ending gaze from Louis.

Liam quickly averted his gaze towards Niall. “What?”

“Yeah, like, Sheila tried to talk to him in the copy room the other day and he totally just blew her off.” Niall shrugged, his tone almost dismissive.

“Well, Shelia’s a bit of a twat as it is,” Liam started, his annoyance growing.

Louis had to be perfect - no, Louis  _was_  perfect, And Liam wasn’t about to let Niall get in the way of any chance he had with Louis. But the painful reality of it was, maybe, possibly, Louis wasn’t even interested in men. But, looking at his mannerisms and attire, Liam began to question this more and more. He didn’t want to stereotype, though, because he knew that he didn’t exactly ‘fit the bill’ of being a homosexual. But that didn’t make him any less gay, he had told Niall countless times as he would drunkenly tried to pick him a girl at the bar.

But perhaps Liam should just give up while he was ahead; the furthest he had gotten was making a millisecond of eye contact with Louis. Everyone else seemed so casual in going up and talking to him. But Liam was so intimidated by him, although Louis was always friendly, he never seemed to get too close. Conversations never appeared to last too long before Louis would indicate with his thumb that he needed to get back to his work space. Liam  _thought_  he knew Louis by now, but Louis was just another mystery waiting to be solved.

_Day 4_

Liam walked into the elevator, his headphones blasting. It was a ‘Smiths’ kind of a day, he thought, rainy and slow. His sister had gotten him into the Smiths - he usually wasn’t into that kind of music, but something about them was so calming, so addicting. And it was at that exact moment, of course, that Louis stepped in the elevator with him. He focused on his music, trying so hard to keep calm and not show that he was shaking and practically panting with his nerves.

He was so focused on breathing that he didn’t even notice Louis speak to him. It was only when he saw Louis moving his hands that he looked over and saw Louis indicating at his headphones. Quickly, he tugged them off of his ears, hanging them around his neck.

“Sorry?” Liam indicated for Louis to repeat himself.

“The Smiths,” Louis pointed at Liam’s headphones once more, the little sliver of a smile etched across his cheeks. “I love The Smiths.”

“No way,” Liam replied with a chuckle.

“Yeah.” Louis nodded and then he began to sing. It was probably the most beautiful thing that Liam had ever heard. “ _To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die_ \- Love ‘em.”

And then the bell rang and, without saying another word, Louis walked out of the elevator. It was that brief contact that had Liam’s ears practically ringing. He fell back against the wall of the elevator as if he’d just been punched, and then he realized that maybe he  _was_  right about Louis. He knew that it seemed silly but he had probably only encountered one or two Smiths fans in his life, and that was his older sister and Niall. The fact that the man he was crushing over for the past week liked them had to mean something, didn’t it?

_Day 8_

It was a typical obnoxious office party. Niall was already drunk on too many glasses of very cheap, but this was just Liam’s guess, champagne. He cringed as he watched Niall flirt with fellow workers and get rejected in almost every single humiliating way. He saw Louis standing there by himself, looking on at all the guests and never really saying anything. People passed and nodded at him, and he grinned and returned the favor. His face fell each time they passed him, and he had his hands stuck in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. Liam took in a deep breath and picked up two glasses of the champagne and walked over to Louis. Each step of his foot caused his head to pound.

“Hi,” Liam blurted as he approached Louis, maybe a bit too loudly, as Louis jumped when he saw him. “I saw you standing alone and I thought I’d-“ Liam indicated at the second glass he was holding in his hand.

“Oh, Smiths,” Louis nodded, seeming to remember Liam. He took the glass from him. “Thanks, by the way.”

“It’s Liam, in case you didn’t know,” Liam told him, trying to keep his voice cheerful but not too excited.

“Hi, Liam.” Louis smiled warmly at him. “I’m Louis, as you probably already know.”

“So, where are you from again?” Liam asked him after a very long awkward silence.

“Doncaster,” Louis answered, his voice sounding distant this time, and Liam worried he was pestering him.

“What made you decide to come to London?” Liam asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing.

Louis scrunched his nose in thought and Liam almost blushed. “I’m not really sure, to be honest. Boredom, I guess? I just got sick of the same-old, and I thought it seemed more fun here.”

Liam couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh yeah, this is the most fun you’re gonna have in your whole life.”

Louis laughed along with him. “Yeah, it’s definitely something different.”

“I didn’t really want to work here anyway,” Liam confessed. “I really wanted to be an architect.”

“An architect, really?” Louis’ voice rose in genuine interest and Liam again had to bite his lip to keep from smiling too wide.

“Yeah, I, erm, went to school for it and everything.” Liam scratched at the back of his head.

“What are you doing here then?” Louis asked a bit judgmentally as he sipped at his champagne.

And Liam’s knees grew week and he stuttered out an answer, “I, uh, I dunno really. My mum actually knows Tim; she’s known him for a while. So it was just kind of going to be a filler job until I got an actual architecture job.”

“So how long have you been working here then?” Louis queried.

Liam was a bit embarrassed, because he knew that Louis was challenging him, and he shuffled his feet before replying coyly, “About three years now.”

“No places hiring that close, ‘eh?” Louis teased.

They continued to talk like this for about an hour or so, but nothing Liam said seemed to break Louis’ wall. He just gave short, casual replies, and always redirected the question back at Liam. Liam felt selfish for taking up the whole conversation, but it seemed to keep Louis’ attention far more than talking about anything else. He walked Louis to his desk and showed him a drawing of a building he had done. Louis marveled at them, holding them up to the light, his mouth lifting into an almost proud smile.

“These are really, really good, Liam,” Louis complimented him, and he seemed so genuine Liam had to fight back from hugging him.

After Louis had gone home, Liam sat at his desk until he heard the sound of the vacuum cleaner. He was drawing again, a building that he had given up on about six months ago. Somehow, Louis was all the inspiration he needed to get back into it. Louis had truly made him feel that anything was possible.

_Day 154_

“I think I’m in love with Louis,” Liam told Zayn one day, his voice thick with adoration.

Zayn sighed. “Not this again, mate.”

“No, really,” Liam continued.

He sighed as he rambled on; he honestly sounded happier than Zayn had seen him in a long time.

Liam said, “I love his eyes, the way they crinkle at the edges when he smiles. I love his hair and how it always smells fresh, he smells so clean, and it’s always so soft. I love the little patch of chest hair he’s got; I think it’s quite cute, actually. I love his collar bones, the way they just kind of stick out. I love his cute little knobby knees, and how they look when he dangles his legs in the air. I guess I just love Louis for who he is, really.”

_Day 11_

“Yeah, but like,” Liam rambled excitedly, as Harry rolled his eyes for the third time, “who else likes the Smiths?”

“Woah,” Harry interrupted him, holding up his hand and propping his feet up on the table. “I’m gonna stop you right there, special snowflake.”

“What, it’s true!” Liam argued. “I mean, Ruth and Niall are the only people I can really think of and, with Niall, it’s just because I made him.”

“Do you know what would happen if I fell in love with every single girl that liked the same music that I did?” Harry mocked condescendingly. “I’d be getting a lot of pussy.”

“Mouth, Harold!” their mother yelled from the sitting room.

“Oh, come off it, mum!” Harry yelled back, rolling his eyes again and stuffing his mouth with another cookie that she’d made.

“Are we gonna have to go upstairs again?” Liam sighed.

Harry shook his head, “No, she’s just being… whatever. She’s been like this ever since you all moved out, really. It’s just me. I don’t get it, man, I’m nearly eighteen.”

“You’re a girl, not yet a woman,” Liam teased with a smirk.

“Oh, well, at least I’m not in love with someone I’ve barely even spoken to!” Harry retorted.

“I am  _not_  in love with him,” Liam replied bashfully.

“Sod off,” Harry countered. “Your face is beet red.”

“But I mean, really, it can’t just be a coincidence. What if it’s fate or something?” Liam pondered, his eyes growing wide with excitement at the thought.

Harry looked at him with contempt. “Liam, are you a child? It’s just a  _band_ -“

“Well, it means something to me,” Liam snapped.

Harry gave him more askance looks before responding tersely, “I mean, what else have you got in common, really?”

“I don’t know, actually.” Liam sagged in defeat. “He wouldn’t really tell me about himself.”

“What do you mean  _wouldn’t?_ ” Harry pressed.

“He just… wanted to keep talking about me.” Liam shrugged. “I guess he’s just a private person.”

“Well, you aren’t,” Harry replied evenly. “You’re an open book.”

“You’re a shit brother, you know that?”

Harry pretended to be offended. “What? Because I actually make you face reality rather than feeding you all of this ‘love’ crap? I swear to God, sometimes I feel like I’ve got three sisters.”

“Well, did I mention he likes the Smiths?” Liam repeated again with a sly grin, and Harry threw the whole plate of cookies in his direction.

_Day 22_

“Well, that’s it,” Liam huffed. “Things are off with Louis.”

Zayn shot him a confused look. “Were things ever really  _on_ , Li?”

“Well,” Liam shifted uncomfortably, “not exactly. But if they ever were, it’s safe to say, never again.”

“Why, what happened?” Niall asked.

“I talked to him in the elevator today…”

He could remember it so clearly. Louis walked in, tight pants, burgundy jumper. He looked fit in just about anything he wore and it was always so surprising to Liam just how good he  _could_ look. He sucked in his breath, struggling, once more, to remain calm, trying so hard not to say anything stupid, and Louis just stood there, not saying a single word. Liam willed himself to not be the first to speak.

“How was your weekend?” Liam blurted before he could even pull his thoughts together.

“It was gooood,” Louis replied with a smirk, slight inclination in his tone.

“Yeah, and?” Zayn pressed, squinting his eyes.

“That means he probably fucked someone!” Liam replied indignantly as if the answer were obvious.

“But that could mean anything!” Zayn rolled his eyes.

“You know what, though,” Niall added, leering at Liam. “I heard that he was gay.”

“Who from?” Liam demanded.

“Him.”

Liam’s eyes widened and he whispered in shock, “Oh,  _Niall_ , you didn’t-“

“Oh, no!” Niall rejected quickly, waving his hand. “We were just in the bathroom having a piss with each other, and I guess he must have thought I thought he was looking at my cock or whatever, and was like ‘even though I’m gay, I promise I’m not looking at your dick’. So that was good enough for me.”

“But, Liam, don’t be an idiot.” Zayn shook his head. “That could honestly mean anything.”

“Well, I mean, he’s new to town and all. What if he met someone at the gym or something?” Liam questioned.

“Well, who the fuck cares?” Zayn retorted. “You’re not exactly involved romantically are you? So far you’ve only spoken to one another about three times. That doesn’t mean a damn thing.”

And, even though Liam knew Zayn was right, that he needed to move on and stop being such an idiot, he just couldn’t. Absolutely nothing could make him forget Louis. Louis didn’t just simply come into your life for no reason, there was always a reason, he could just tell.

_Day 27_

“Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow night?” Niall asked, leaning over the edge of his desk onto Liam’s.

“Can’t,” Liam replied simply, not looking away from his computer screen.

“But it’s an office party,” Niall pleaded. “The whole office will be there.”

“I don’t care.”

“No, you’re not listening,” Niall snapped. “The  _whole_  office will be there…”

_Day 28_

The bar was loud and noisy and filled with smoke. Niall was already on his way to getting hammered and singing really awful, generic songs on the karaoke machine. Liam and Louis watched at the bar, laughing at him, and pretended that they really didn’t know him. Louis asked if Niall always got like this, to which Liam bit his lip and nodded, embarrassed, but also a little proud. He loved Niall, he loved how goofy he was, but at the same time Niall was a little shit.

“Lou,” Niall yelled into the microphone. “Lou, get up here please.”

Louis threw back another shot before raising his eyebrows at Liam and marching up to the stage. He wasn’t sure of what song was going to come on, and closed his eyes a little as “Look After You” by The Fray began to play. Liam sat there, his hand shaking as Louis began, a bit shaky at first, but after people began to cheer he became more confident. Liam had never heard anything so beautiful in his life and his eyes widened as he felt a hand clap his shoulder. He glanced to see Niall grinning widely at his face; he smelled strongly of alcohol and Liam winced at the terrible odor emitting from his mouth.

“He’s really good, Li,” Niall slurred.

They all sat at a table after the singing was over, drinking beers and laughing at Niall’s drunken behavior. Niall was hammering away about this really cute girl that he’d met about an hour ago that had to leave. Louis and Liam exchanged glances, and Liam liked to pretend that they actually meant something.

“What about you, though, mate,” Niall garbled at Louis. “You got a boyfriend?”

Louis let out a little chuckle, “Uh, no.”

“Oh, why not?” Niall was inquisitional.

“I just don’t like relationships, really,” Louis shrugged. “They’re messy and people’s feelings get hurt.”

“So, have you  _ever_ had a boyfriend?” Liam asked, and he realized that maybe his tone sounded a little too hopeful.

“Of course,” Louis responded with a wide smile. “I’m not Pentecostal or whatever, I just don’t… believe in love, really.”

Niall let out a loud laugh, and Liam gave Louis a quizzical look and said, “What how do you not? It’s not like the Easter bunny, it’s love.”

“Love is just a fantasy.” Louis was dismissive. “I’ve never been in love; I don’t really think that I ever plan to be.”

“But why not?” Liam pushed.

“Well, I mean,” Louis began. “Most marriages end in divorce, anyway. My parents are divorced, and it’s just… there’s no sense in putting labels on everything. Gay, straight, whatever, why does it matter? We’re all human beings.”

When Niall was far too drunk to even be able to walk, Louis helped Liam get him a cab, before he got in, however, he began to spill his loud mouth. He stumbled into Louis and gave him a hug, to which Liam was surprised that he returned with warmth. He thanked Niall a lot for the fun night, insisting after he asked for the fifth time that he really did have a great time.

“Oh, hey, Lou,” Niall shouted from the taxi back seat as Liam help him get in. “Liam really likes you.”

“Yeah, that’s okay mate,” Liam tried not to shout as he practically pushes Niall into the back seat, slamming the door.

His heart is pounding and he doesn’t know if he can turn and face Louis. He prays that Louis didn’t hear what Niall had to say but, as he cautiously turned his head, he saw that Louis was looking at him inquisitively. He never wanted Louis to have to find out this way, he wanted it to be more special, more worthwhile, but he was in constant fear of Louis’ response.

“Is that true?” Louis asked finally.

Liam closed his eyes and decided to play his whole dumb routine. “What?”

“You like me?”

“Yeah, yeah of course I like you,” Liam nodded. “I mean we’re friends aren’t we?”

“ _No_ ,” and Liam swears he saw the redness begin to flush Louis’s face, “I mean…do you  _like_  me?”

Liam sighed in defeat, what other way could he say it? “Yeah, I do like you.”

Louis nodded, and for the first time, Liam could see that his words weren’t already formulated and on the tip of his tongue. He had thrown Louis for a loop, and he loved it.

“I think you’re really interesting,” Louis replied finally.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re really interesting too,” Liam felt lame saying it, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

They look at each other for a few seconds, or maybe even a few days, so it seemed, and Louis just peered into Liam’s whole soul. Liam was frightened because it was as if Louis was really starting to see him. They were so close to each other that Liam could feel Louis’ body warmth, he wanted to reach out and grab him, and Louis’ eyes were almost begging for him to.

“Well,” Louis cleared his throat. “I should be scootin’. This was fun, though. We need to do it again.”

“Yeah,” was all Liam could mutter.

Louis spun around on his heel, leaving Liam completely teased and dumbfounded. 


	2. 500 Days Of Louis part II

_Day 31_

The next encounter was probably the one Liam would always remember the most. He was making copies, staring at the blinking light on the copy machine, tapping his foot impatiently. He hardly noticed Louis walk in. He turned his head to look at Louis and saw that Louis was already looking at him, a concentrated gaze that was followed by the biting of his lip. Liam turned away again, focusing unnecessarily hard on the copier.

Before he had time to process his thoughts, he felt a presence close to his body. He turned to see Louis staring at him intently. Liam returned the look, his eyebrow lifting in stunned curiosity. He began to speak as Louis’ face was so close to him that he could almost taste his scent. Louis broke off his hushed rambling words with a kiss.

It took Liam a minute to respond before he placed his hands squarely on Louis’ hips, pressing his body closer. Louis applied more pressure, his fingers tangled in Liam’s hair, and Liam could hardly breathe but he wasn’t bothered. They kissed in a synchronized rhythm, almost as if their lips had memorized one another. And Liam wasn’t sure how long they stood there doing this, all he knew was that it felt so right. Their kisses not too urgent, not too gentle and just the right amount of need.  Louis’ tongue danced lightly along the outside of Liam’s lower lip, and Liam widened his mouth, waiting for Louis.

But just then, with a simple beep of the machine next to them, Louis broke away, grabbed his files quickly and rushed out of the room. Liam felt his whole body tighten, his eyes widened with disbelief. It was almost as if he could never really get to  _feel_ or  _see_  Louis before he was just suddenly up and gone. It was like Louis would never really let anyone ever love him fully, almost like he was scared to let anyone get too close. Liam felt like he would never really know Louis and that’s what scared him the most.

_Later that day_

“What the fuck, man,” Zayn’s voice rose indignantly. “What do you mean something happened with Louis? I rush all the way over here, and you’re telling me all you did was kiss?”

Liam gave Zayn a frantic look of anger before responding in a hasty tone, ”Zayn,  _please_ , shut up! Look, that’s all that happened, I told you that about fifteen times. It was just a little kiss in the copy room.”

“Blowjob? Handjob?” Zayn pressed further, his eyes dancing with excitement.

“ _No_ , man, no jobs,” Liam grimaced. “I just need you to be quiet, okay? Look, I’ll have to tell you more later, you came at a bad time.”

“This was the only time I had! I just got off of work,” Zayn retorted irritably, then his eyes widened in shock. “What… is he here or something?”

Liam responded by tossing Zayn an exasperated look. Zayn responded doubtfully, “Oh no,  _that_  Louis? The same Louis you’ve been stalking for weeks now is  _here_  in your apartment?”

“Yes, Zayn,” Liam hissed, motioning for Zayn to quiet his voice. “Would you please just lower your voice?”

Just at that moment, Louis exited from the bathroom, looking at Zayn timidly and flashing a startled look at Liam. Liam comforted him by stepping a bit closer and smiling at Zayn. Zayn blushed a little, apologizing immediately for his behavior.

“Oh, so I guess this is the famous Louis I hear all about.” Zayn shook Louis’ hand cordially. “I’m Zayn.”

“Nice to meet you, Zayn.” Louis nodded back with a wide grin on his face.

“Well, I, um,” Zayn began awkwardly, stepping back, “I really ought to be dashing then, I guess. It was lovely meeting you.”

“You too,” Louis responds his agreement quickly.

“Sorry about that.” Liam turned to Louis with an apologetic expression. “He’s not usually like that.”

“Ah, that’s alright,” Louis dismissed with a hand wave, his smile more prominent than ever.

“So did you want to go get some dinner or something?”

“Oh yeah, I’m _stalking_ , I mean… starving,” Louis replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

_Day 282_

They made another trip to IKEA, Louis saying that he needed to purchase some bed clothes for his mother. Liam readily agreed to take him, failing to see the hesitation in Louis’ agreement. They strolled in together Louis keeping a safe distance and each time his wrist touched Liam’s he’d lift it up to casually scratch at his face.

Liam strolled over to the sinks and began tugging on the handles, giving Louis a cheeky grin as he called out, “Oh, hon, I think the sink’s broken!”

Louis tossed him a contemptible look, torn between embarrassment and annoyance. Not even a trace of a grin could be seen on his face. He just slouched away keeping an eye on the ground and leaving Liam to awkwardly follow behind. Louis had never treated him like this before, like he was ashamed to be seen with him. Louis ambled over to the bed clothing, inspecting all the colors and patterns carefully. Liam pointed out several that he thought that Lou’s mother would like but Louis just shrugged and immediately set it back before moving down the aisle.

_Day 34_

They walked into IKEA, almost shoulder to shoulder, and Liam hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. It was a bright, sunny Saturday afternoon and Louis was right where he should be: by Liam’s side. Things had picked up so quickly between the two that Liam was finding it hard to keep track of all the progress he had made with him so he could tell Zayn and Niall. Just as they began to pick up, they would always slow down. It was exhausting, but Liam had a feeling it would all be easy in the end.

“What are we looking for again?” Louis muttered in his ear.

“A new duvet,” Liam reminded him.

Liam took off suddenly in the opposite direction, leading Louis to follow him curiously. He ran over to the sink and began to pull on different handles, and threw Louis a perplexed look.

“Uh, hon,” he voiced his mock concern. “I think the sink’s broken.”

Louis closed his eyes and giggled before following along in the joke. “Oh my goodness, what ever shall we do?” He opened up the refrigerator door and turned to Liam with mock-panic. “Oh  _no_ , and the fridge light’s busted again.”

Liam sighed and said, “Well, I’m bored. We should watch TV.”

They walked over to the couches collapsing in a fit of giggles next to each other. Louis’ burning leg brushed against Liam’s and he had to stifle a gasp. Louis picked up a remote and began to click it at the TV with an apprehensive look on his face.

He turned to Liam and uttered restlessly, “Oh no, I think the TV’s broken.”

“Well, you know, I’m  _famished_ ,” Liam remarked and he pulled up Louis as they dashed for the kitchen section.

Liam pulled up a chair at the table and picked up the knife and fork that lay beside the white china plate. Louis emitted another giggle and Liam couldn’t help but break his straight face.

“Mmm, what’s that you’re making dear?  It smells delicious,” Liam humored.

“Oh, darling, that’s because it  _is_  delicious,” Louis replied in a playful tone, opening up the empty oven and taking out an invisible food of some sort.

“Ooh, bald eagle,” Liam beamed up at Louis. “My favorite.”

They ran though IKEA, pretending that they owned a house together, laughing at their overly affectionate pet-names. People gave them strange looks but that was ‘half the fun’ as Louis had said. Louis seemed so intrigued and surprised by Liam, like he’d seen a side of him that he never had before. Liam swelled with pride as Louis was actually following  _his_  lead and laughing at  _his_  jokes. It was a nice feeling to be in control of whatever this was. They collapsed on a bed next, roaring with laughter. Liam was lying atop of Louis gently, as not to crush him. They looked up to see a family staring at them in disgust as they slowly turned away, leaving Liam and Louis choking with laughter.

They rolled over to face each other, and Louis affectionately took one of the strings off of Liam’s jacket and began to play with it and spoke coyly, “This is  _fun._  You’re fun.”

Liam grinned bashfully back at him, “Thanks.”

“But, I um,” Louis spoke carefully, as if what he was about to say could make or break Liam’s happiness. “I just thought you ought to know…I’m not really looking for anything… _serious._ ”

Liam tried not to let the disappointment show, but just as he thought he was getting somewhere with Louis, it’s like it was all just suddenly sucked away. Nothing good would ever stay with him when it came to Louis; perhaps he had just better face the inevitable. He managed to pull himself together and fake a smile, reassuring Louis.

“That’s fine,” he replied with a casual shrug. “I can do that, casual, yeah.”

Louis pressed a tender kiss to his lips, “Good.”

He got up and said they had better get on with looking for bed clothes then, and Liam watched him intently as he walked away. And he just couldn’t get over how Louis threw him for a loop. He’d never really had to chase after anyone before; he never really had to second-guess himself. He was always so happy. But Louis had truly made him question everything he had ever known or thought. He followed Louis brusquely as they made their way towards the bedding section. He felt Louis’ warm palm fit inside his, and he looked down at their intertwined hands to make sure that he wasn’t just imagining Lou’s touch, and it felt good, it felt like home.

_Later that Night_

They came back to Liam’s apartment late that night, crashing through the doorway, limbs entangled and hands searching each other’s body frantically. Liam craved his kiss and needed his touch; it was almost as if he couldn’t get his clothes off quick enough. He pushed Louis down on his bed, and Louis pulled Liam atop of him, wrapping his legs around Liam’s torso. Liam ran his hands up and down the inside of Louis’ shirt, feeling his hard nipples and smooth, tanned skin. His neck tasted like sweet mixed with the saltiness of his sweat, and Liam couldn’t help but grin at the fact that  _he_  had been the one to make Louis sweat.

He pulled away and Louis looked up at him, his eyes angry but passionate, “Hold on a second, okay?”

Liam rushed towards the bathroom and closed the door behind him, hardly believing that the man he had been after for so long was aroused and waiting behind the wooden frame. He looked into the mirror, muttering encouragements to himself. He opened up the cupboard behind his mirror and pulled out the bottle of lubricant, not even sure if it was still good seeing as it had been awhile. He took in a deep breath and willed himself to do this. He could do this. He would do this.

He wandered out of the bathroom and saw Louis staring at him, lying on his side and, to Liam’s amazement, completely naked. Liam gasped at the sight; Louis was truly the most beautiful thing that Liam had ever seen.

“Hope this isn’t too forward,” Louis smirked, indicating his eyes down at his hard length. “But I mean, you were practically begging for me so.”

Liam let out a harsh laugh, “Is that so?”

He pressed a chaste kiss to Lou’s lips before pulling away and Louis breathed out, “Yeah.”

Liam quickly pulled off the rest of his clothing, deciding it would just be quicker if he were completely naked. Louis pulled Liam down to the bed quickly; sucking on the birthmark located in the center of his chest, causing Liam to whine with anticipation as Louis accidentally nudged his aching cock with his thigh. He slowly kissed down Liam’s trembling body, taking his time and savoring each inch of skin that he could get his mouth on, hands not trailing far behind. Liam let out a deep sigh as Louis kissed around his pubic bone, grinning up at him mischievously. He felt his heart race a thousand times faster as Louis finally began to pump his shaft slowly, taking his time and getting accustomed to it. He let out a feral moan as Louis inserted Liam’s dick into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip and fitting his lips perfectly, Liam groaned at the sight of it. He moved down Liam’s shaft, using the underside of his tongue in feather light licks, and his hand was still in proper use. Liam tangled his hands in Louis’ hair as he felt the sparks shoot up and down his body, it was happening, he was going to cum.

He came hard, harder than he had in ages, and Louis swallowed every last drop. Liam continued spurting his hot liquid into Louis’ waiting mouth, bucking his hips up wildly. Louis sat up grinning flirtatiously at Liam, saying something about how he tasted so  _fucking_  good. Louis motioned for Liam to roll over, to which Liam obeyed, almost too weak from his orgasm to do much else. He spread his legs, knowing exactly what Louis wanted as he reached over and grabbed the lube from Liam’s night stand. He spread it over Liam’s entrance with his fingers, causing Liam to gasp with pleasure.

He almost screamed when Louis entered him for the first time, his whole body adjusting to Louis’ size. Louis gave him a reassuring kiss on the shoulder, murmuring that things would be okay, and they were as soon as Liam had adjusted, practically screaming for Louis to move faster. Liam grew closer and closer to the edge with each thrust, Lou’s hand moving down his abdomen and playing with his hardening dick.

“Cum for me baby,” Louis panted in Liam’s ear.

And this was about all Liam needed until Louis had made him cum for the second time. Louis’ hand was still stroking Liam feverishly to his orgasm. Liam felt Louis spill inside of him, his body shaking and his movements growing muddled and careless. Louis was a dirty talker, and Liam liked it. He said things like how Liam had the cutest little ass he’d ever seen, and how he just loved his big, beautiful cock. This would be awkward with anyone else. But, with Louis, it all just felt so right.

_Day 303_

Liam stared begrudgingly at the new woman that had taken over for Louis. She didn’t look right, sitting in his desk, and she looked at Tim with the dumbest expression as he appeared to be explaining how the computer worked. Liam sighed and put his head in his hands, wondering how Louis could just move on from everything so suddenly. It made no sense. It was almost like they had never happened,  _this_ had never happened.

But what Liam admired the most in Louis was that he had the ability to get out.

_Day 45_

Niall let out a cackle as he wrapped the tape around Louis’ mouth, Louis had agreed to it and sat there looking smug as Liam walked in.

“Niall, what are you doing?” Liam asked bewilderingly.

“Lou wanted his mouth taped shut,” Niall replied through laughter, “so that’s what we’re doing.”

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Work’s for pussies, Lou said, anyway,” Niall shrugged, and Louis nodded his head in agreement.

Louis said something to Liam, but his voice was so muffled that Liam couldn’t make him out. Niall translated for him. “He says you ought to join us.”

“But I’m meant to be working,” Liam protested.

“Aw, come on, don’t be such a bitch,” Niall whined, finishing the tape wrapping.

Liam rolled his eyes, “Oh, alright.”

Louis squirmed to express his joy in the chair and Liam smiled down at him and said, “You gonna do a little happy dance then?”

Louis began to wave his arms around ridiculously, making loud muffled shouts from beneath the tape and Niall laughed at him. Liam couldn’t help but chuckle at how ridiculous Louis was being, and he loved this silly side of Louis; it was his favorite thing about him.

“Woah, mate, I said a little one, not a big one,” Liam frowned.

Niall ripped the tape from Louis’ mouth suddenly who howled out in pain and laughter. He doubled over and Niall cackled riotously, hands arms wrapped around his stomach.

“Ow!” Louis yelled out, his eyes welling with tears, but Liam couldn’t tell if they were from pain or laughter. “That really hurt! Oh my fuck, that really fucking hurt, Niall!”

_Day 87_

Louis decided to take him downtown and show him one of his favorite stores he had found. It was loaded with lots of cheap books, movies, CDs, and even a few old records. Louis pulled out a few and looked at them like a child in a candy store. Liam looked on him with prideful eyes, astonished that he was out and about with someone this beautiful. He could tell other people were too as he garnered a lot of jealous looks from females that passed by. Even though he knew that Louis didn’t exactly belong to him, it was good enough for him.

“Oh my God,” Louis exclaimed holding up a record. “They have this!”

“What is it?” Liam asked joining him and leaning his head on Lou’s shoulder, gazing at a record by Ringo Starr.

“I love Ringo!” Louis was genuinely excited.

Liam snorted. “Nobody likes Ringo.”

Louis scowled at him and seemed offended, “What? But Ringo’s the best Beatle, there’s absolutely no contest. Octopuses’ Garden is by far the best song.”

Liam burst into a fit of giggles, “You might as well say Piggies…”

But he was cut off by Louis’ eyes flashing wide with desire at something and dragging Liam along with him. He realized he was being pulled into the X-rated videos in the store. Louis browsed through the titles and Liam’s cheek flushed bright red as the man that had been in there before them left briskly.  Louis laughed and found the most ridiculous titled movie that he could.

“Hm, this gets pretty good reviews, ‘eh, Li?” Louis raised his eyebrows.

_Later That Night_

They lay there on the couch, their legs tangled, and hands crossed neatly in their laps watching the porn that they had rented. The woman was being slammed into relentlessly as her body shook against the door of the shower, and Liam winced as she begged him to go harder.

“You know what,” Louis said suddenly. “That looks pretty doable.”

Liam tossed him a knowing look and they eagerly made their way to the bathroom. Taking no time in removing their clothes and stepping into the spray of shower water, they were laughing as they kissed through mouthfuls of water and Louis straddled Liam’s body.

“You’re too heavy, Lou,” Liam grunted at him.

Louis’ hair was plastered to his eyes and Liam could hardly see them as Louis flashed him a toothy smile, “Oh, get over it.”

“How do we do this anyway?”

“Well, didn’t you watch?”

“This was your idea!” Liam retorted indignantly.

He had barely entered Louis as he gripped the bars of the shower curtain before they were both crashing to the floor, the bottles of shampoo tumbling down upon them, the shower curtain draped around their shaking bodies. They were both laughing so hard it was almost silent, or maybe Liam just couldn’t hear from all the water welling in his ears.

_Day 95_

Liam decided to show Louis his favorite architectural spots in the city, and Louis actually looked interested, much to Liam’s surprise. He gripped Liam’s hand tightly, giving it a little squeeze every now and then, and Liam almost felt a twinge of guilt as he looked at all of these buildings. It was no secret that Louis didn’t like where he worked, which obviously meant he didn’t like Liam working there either. He had mentioned to Liam several times that he should pursue more career as an architect. He smiled at Liam proudly as Liam babbled on about the type of stone used and where it was from and when it was built. It amazed him that someone could know this much about something and be so passionate about it, and it made him so happy to think that he had been the one to cause that.

_Day 109_

This was the night everything was changing. This was the night when Liam got as close to Louis as he had ever been. As he stepped into the threshold of Louis’ apartment, Louis apologized for the mess but Liam dismissed him, insisting that it was lovely. It truly was. He peered around the room as Liam stepped into the kitchen, the walls adorned in neatly patterned blue wallpaper. He smiled at the photos of Louis, he looked younger, and he looked happy, holding onto four younger girls.

He realized the wall that Louis so often hid behind was coming down, and he felt privileged to be in Louis’ house, because he realized that this wasn’t allowed for everybody.

They lay cuddling on Louis’ bed the next morning, smiling into each other’s faces. Louis’ legs were tangled in Liam’s and he pressed soft kisses to Liam’s forehead. They began to talk about their families.

“Well, I have two older sisters,” began Liam. “Ruth and Nicola, and then there’s my little brother, Harry, he’s a little rascal. We’re probably the closest out of all of us. And then there’s my mum, Karen, she’s a good woman, a hard working woman. My dad bailed on us when Harry was about three years old. I guess we all just got too much for him to handle? I haven’t talked to him ever since, and it’s been really rough.”

Louis squeezed his hand sympathetically, “I have four younger sisters, and my parents were quite busy. I was a handful, really, so they waited till I was about nine or so to have my little sister, Lottie. Two years later she had Felicity, and then three years later she had the twins Phoebe and Daisy. So after the twins she was quite busy, really.”

“Did you still get paid attention to?” Liam asked him, tracing his finger over the veins sticking out of Louis’ hand.

“Well, I was about sixteen or so by the time the twins came around, and now they’re about seven. I guess it keeps my mum preoccupied, I worry about her a lot sometimes.”

“Why’s that?”

Louis swallowed and his breathing was shaky as he continued, “Well, about a year ago my Dad just kind of left. I don’t know why, he still won’t tell us. I mean, I love him, because he’s my dad. But it was such a shit thing to do. I’ll never forget little Lottie crying in my arms, and my mum was just running after the car screaming and begging for him to come back. It was rough, really. I was just home on holiday visiting. I guess that’s what made me come to London; I couldn’t keep taking care of everyone back home. I mean, I loved doing that, because I love my family, but I needed to get a move on. And, like, I can’t imagine how hard it must be for my mum… because she always said that, like, I was her best friend. So it can’t be easy for her, can it?”

And as Louis continued, and Liam looked at him, nodding his head and really listening to his words and making something out of them. He grasped that these weren’t stories that were just routinely told to anyone. These were stories that you had to earn. And it was made even more obvious as Louis would lick his lips and furrow his brows, the words struggling to come out, and he’d blush and apologize. Liam would just shake his head and told him to take his time, and he could tell that Louis hadn’t really had anyone listen to him like this.

Liam pressed a kiss to Louis’ cheek tenderly, rubbing the spot at the back of his head and said sweetly, “She’s lucky to have you.”

Louis grinned feebly at him before rolling onto his back and looking up at the ceiling and uttered words that almost cause Liam’s heart to stop, “I’ve never told anyone that before.”


	3. 500 Days Of Louis part III

_Day 110_

“I’m just not sure what this is, guys,” Liam told Zayn and Niall over coffee the next day.

“Why don’t you just ask?” Zayn replied observably.

Liam scoffed. “ _Because, Zayn,_ I can’t just ask him that. What if it mucks everything up? I mean why should we have to put a label on anything, we’re adults here.”

Niall rolled his eyes. “Well, personally, before I start shagging someone and staying the night, I like to know exactly what’s going on.”

“I don’t think I should really be coming to you guys in the first place,” Liam muttered bitterly. “You’re not exactly skilled in relationships.”

“Hey!” Zayn spoke up abrasively. “I’m very skilled.”

“You’ve had the same girlfriend since you were thirteen,” Liam sneered.

“Shush.” Zayn frowned and sunk back into his seat, taking a sip of his coffee. “I love Ashley.”

“And you,” Liam rounded on Niall. “You’ve had one girlfriend since high school, and that was Hayley and how long did you date? About three weeks, right? And why? Because she caught you wanking to porn!”

“Hey, in my defense,” Niall raised a finger, “she was gone for the majority of those three weeks and I was getting kind of lonely.”

_Day 118_

It was hot that day and the bleachers were practically scorching Liam’s legs through the denim of his jeans. He had gone to Harry’s football match, and hadn’t really planned on it being spent talking about Louis, yet there they were. He knew that Harry was growing annoyed with him yet he couldn’t seem to stop. He trusted Harry, and he valued his opinion. Harry knew Liam better than most people; he was his brother and his best friend.

“I don’t get what to do, though,” Liam complained, his voice strained with exasperation and Harry groaned again as this was the fifth time Liam had stated this.

“I don’t  _know_ ,” Harry retorted heatedly. “I mean, why you don’t just ask him if you’re so worried.”

“Because I don’t want to scare him off,” Liam repeated anxiously.

“Look, Liam.” Harry sighed firmly, tying up the laces on his running shoes. “You can’t just sit around and wait anymore. You’re just going to be wasting your time if you don’t ask. Look, if it were me, I’d wanna know before I got too involved. I mean, he could hurt you without really meaning to.”

Liam allowed Harry’s words to sink in. “Yeah, Harry, I guess you’re right.”

Harry grinned over at him. “’Course I am.”

Then Harry’s coach yelled at him and said that he was in the game. Harry stood up and shook his body excitedly. Harry was a damn good football player, but Liam protested and waved his arms.

“Hey, coach, we aren’t done here!”

“Listen, Liam,” Harry called to him, walking backwards onto the field. “Just don’t be a pussy.”

_Day 119_

They were driving to the movies. Liam looked over at Louis, who had a grin plastered on his face, his hands atop of the steering wheel. It truly was the happiest Liam had ever seen Louis, looking back on it. Louis caught his glance showing off his straight, white teeth. Liam smiled back, and realized that Louis  _was_ happy, and he really didn’t want to press the matter any further, but all that Harry had said the other day was still stuck in his head. Maybe he  _was_  wasting his time; he had never been in something with someone that didn’t have a label. He was always very conscientious about these kinds of things.

“What are we doing?” Liam blurted.

Louis let out a soft chuckle, “I thought we were going to the movies?”

Liam put his tongue in his cheek and struggled to think of the correct words. “Er, no I mean, this,  _us_ , what are we doing?”

Louis tossed him an apprehensive look and said, “I don’t know? I don’t care. I’m happy, aren’t you happy?”

Liam swallowed and nodded in agreement. What choice did he have really? He had to take Louis’ word for it.

_Day 259_

Louis brought the dry martini to his lips, looking mildly annoyed at Liam telling him a joke that he could have sworn he’d heard about a thousand times now. Liam seemed blissfully unaware of Louis’ annoyance and just continued. And in a way, Louis almost felt bad for him. He knew that maybe it seemed like he was stringing Liam along, but he just didn’t want a relationship. He was happy with where they were, or rather, he was. And now it just seemed like Liam was too preoccupied with what they  _could_  be rather than what they  _were_.

“Hey,” a deep voice said appearing at the right of Louis’ shoulder. He was dressed in a suit, and Liam couldn’t help but think that he looked like a douche. “What’re you drinking? Let me get you a drink.”

“No thank you,” Louis replied tersely, pursing his lips and taking another sip from his glass.

The guy looked over at Liam and scoffed, “What? You’re with this guy? Really?”

“Hi, I’m Liam…”

“Whatever,” the guy snapped. “So, what do you say? Ditch this guy, let me buy you a drink I-“

“Look, I’m flattered, really, but no thank you. You’re being rude,” Louis retorted coldly.

The man chewed the inside of his cheek and shrugged and nodded. “Hm, okay.”

He appeared back a few seconds later, this time rounding on Liam, “I’m sorry but  _this_  guy? This guy is your boyfriend?”

Liam stood up and, before he could think, he punched him square in the jaw.

He turned to laugh at Louis, to show that he was tough, that he could be just who Louis needed him to be. But, the next thing he knew, he was seeing black, and woke up with a huge purple bruise on the side of his face.

“It’s really kind of funny.” Liam laughed as they walked through the door of Louis’ apartment. “I mean, one minute I’m kicking his ass, and then the next thing I know he’s kicking mine.”

Louis strolls over to the couch and stands there placidly with his hands on his hips, his eyes narrow and nostrils flaring.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you,” Louis began with disdain. “You were completely _, completely,_ uncool back there.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Liam asked. “I got my ass kicked for you back there.”

“Well I didn’t need it,” Louis snapped. “I don’t need you to save me, Liam; I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself.”

“I was just trying to help,” Liam uttered feebly.

“Look, I’m really tired,” Louis began; he sounded irritated beyond belief. “I just… I need to go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

Liam nodded and tossed him an acrimonious look before turning on his heel, but the words and thoughts flowed through him like venom and he turned back around. His voice rose with each and every word, unable to stop himself.

“No, I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving until you tell me what the  _hell_  is going on here, Lou!”

Louis stared at him in shock, his mouth agape and he began to speak in a small voice, “We’re just friends-“

Liam’s eyes widened and his voice was stern and malicious, “No, no! Don’t pull that with me, don’t you dare. This is not how you treat your  _friends_. Kissing, holding hands in IKEA,  _shower sex_? Who does that with their friends?”

“I just… I don’t want a relationship,” Louis specified frailly.

“Well, you’re  _not_  the only one that gets a say in this!” Liam bellowed furiously.

They stood there for a moment listening to the sound of Liam’s heavy breathing, struggling to keep calm and not yell at Louis even more. Louis looked near tears as he kept opening his mouth slightly, as if he wanted to say something that he couldn’t quite express. But Liam had heard enough. He was through with wasting his time and didn’t want to be made a fool by him anymore.

“No, fuck this,” Liam muttered venomously. “I’m leaving.”

_Later on_

Liam lay there in bed, staring at his phone and waiting for a call that he was positive would never come. Still, a part of him wished that Louis would just give him a chance. He felt like they were slow dancing in a burning room. He sensed he was holding onto something that just wasn’t possible. But Liam was too stubborn to give him up; his mother had always said that you had to fight for love and, once you found that one person that was worth fighting for, it was meant to be.

Louis was someone worth fighting for.

Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door. He grumbled irritably and sat up, grabbing his shirt from the floor as he made his way to the door. He pulled on his t-shirt and opened the door, expecting to see Zayn or maybe even Harry. But he was stunned when he saw Louis, head pressed against the door frame. He was soaked through from the rain, hair plastered to the side of his face and his eyes were drooped, and Liam realized that Louis was trying to show him some sort of remorse for his behavior earlier. Liam tossed him a contemptible look, almost mad enough to not step aside to allow Louis inside.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he sounded it. “I shouldn’t have done that, Liam. I’m so sorry.”

“I just,” Liam began, his voice barely a whisper and Louis nudged his chest with the top of his head, leaning in and smelling him. “I just need to know that you won’t wake up in the morning and feel differently.”

Louis let out a soft laugh and he kissed Liam chastely, “And I can’t give you that.”

Liam lets out a distressed sigh and allows Louis into his arms, closing the door behind them and pressing their bodies firmly against each other. And he kissed Louis like it would be the last time - he felt like it would be the last time. He was needy and passionate, almost begging, and he needed Louis, he just needed him.

Liam’s head began to spin as Louis led him towards the bedroom, guiding his unsure feet to the bed. As Louis began to thrust into him relentlessly, he almost felt tears come to his eyes. Not from the pain, no, but from the sheer fact that he was losing Louis. He wasn’t ready for that yet.

_Day 260_

They woke up limbs knotted together and Louis could feel the soft breath escaping from Liam’s mouth on his cheek. He brushed at a loose hair across Liam’s forehead, causing Liam to stir and look at Louis with inquisition.

“Morning, sunshine.” Louis beamed, pressing a kiss to Liam’s nose.

They shuffled to the kitchen and ate hurriedly, as Liam’s apartment had rapidly dropped in temperature over the night. They raced each other to the bed, flopping down upon the silky duvet and laughing wildly at one another. And it baffled Liam at how quickly Louis’ demeanor had changed. He had gone from being so serious and passionate to playful and child-like. He could be ordinary in the best of ways, but he always managed to dance like a poet through every word that he said.

“So, have you ever been in a relationship before?” Liam asked the burning question, his hand stroking Louis’ chest.

“Of course,” Louis remarked. “I’ve had my fair share.”

“Oh yeah? Like who?”

“Well, there was James from Sweden. He was really sweet, he was a rower,  _very_  hot,” Louis added a laugh for effect. “Then there was Dean; he was nice, he played football for Liverpool, he was really scouse. I wasn’t used to it, really. Then there was Sam for a brief time in college. She was nice and everything but just not… really what I was looking for? And then there was Ed, he was musician. I think he still makes music, actually. He was probably the nicest guy I’ve ever been with.”

“Is that all?” Liam asked bewilderingly.

“Well, the only ones that were serious, anyway,” Louis shrugged.

“Yeah? And what happened to them?” Liam probed. 

“What always happens,” Louis replied casually, leaning back across the bed, his shirt lifting to show the slight happy trail and causing Liam to lick his lips. “Life.”

_Day 191_

Louis loved going to the movies, he didn’t go often, and Liam just loved to splurge on him. They acted so cliché in the movie theatres. Each and every time Louis would get scared he’d press his face into Liam’s shoulder, or gasp at a particularly sad scene. But Liam loved his laugh best, so he chose for them to see a comedy. They’d giggle at each other whenever they’d reach into the bucket of popcorn simultaneously and their hands would brush against one another. Liam would tuck his head into the crook of Louis’ neck each and every single time that he would laugh. Everything was just perfect, exactly how it should be. He had Louis now.

_Day 321_

Liam was late for work every single day that week. He came in hung over each morning, which caused Niall to bombard him with concerned questions. He barely did any work that he was supposed to do; instead, he just sat at the blinking cursor in his empty word document. He had never been like this before, but each and every day he struggled to get out of bed. And what’s worse was that he barely had the energy or the will to get dressed in  _presentable_  garb.

Tim had asked to see Liam in his office, and Liam rolled his eyes and followed Tim up the steps. Tim was jovial, however, and asked Liam politely to sit across from him. Liam peered wearily around the room, flinching at the sound of Tim’s voice.

“Liam, how nice of you to join me… I was just… I had a few questions,” he began.

Liam nodded and responded slowly, “Okay…”

“Has something happened?” Tim leaned in a bit, his eyes slanting in concern.

“What do you mean?” Liam asked boldly. 

“Well, it’s just… your work performance has been lacking a bit recently,” Tim stuttered.

Liam squinted. “Tim… are you  _firing_  me?”

Tim’s eyes widened and he objected quickly, “God, Liam,  _no._  I could never - You’re one of the good ones. It’s just… you haven’t been the same for a while.”

Liam shook his head. “I’m sorry, sir, I just don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

Tim sighed and picked up a card laying on his desk, “Maybe this will make some sense to you. I have one of your latest cards here, and it almost got put on the rack. It says.” He pursed his lips before continuing hesitantly. “’Roses are red, violets are blue…fuck you, whore’ I’m just… I’m not getting it Liam?”

“Nor am I,” Liam uttered back resiliently.

“Does this have anything to do with Louis?”

Liam scowled. “Sorry?”

“Liam, we all know, okay? Everyone knows. That’s all anyone ever talks about anymore; don’t think I don’t know these things. Also, Harry has a big mouth, Karen told me everything,” Tim explained.

Liam sighed irritably. “Of course…”

“If you need some time off I-“

“No, Tim,” Liam shook his head and hopped up to his feet. “Really, that’s okay. Please don’t worry about me. I just need to get over it, I need to get over myself. But thank you for your concern; I’ll try to get my shit together.”

“Good.” Tim beamed at him.

_Day 322_

“I hate Louis,” Liam complained heatedly to Zayn one day over lunch. “I hate those stupid age lines that he has whenever he smiles. I hate his dumb retro eighties haircut. I hate that patch of hair on his chest, it looks like pubes. I hate his stupid collar bones and how they awkwardly stick out. I hate his stupid knees, he has chicken legs. I hate him.”

_Day 345_

“You know, usually I don’t agree with blind dates,” Danielle babbled on, her bubbly personality was cute but Liam found it a bit suffocating, “but you’re actually  _cute_.”

Danielle was pretty cute too, he supposed, if he were into, well,  _females._  She had long curly hair and dark skin and pale lips. Every time she smiled she seemed to light up the whole room and her laugh was loud and booming and turned heads. She was sweet, Liam knew that, and he supposed he ought to give her a chance, but Louis was still at the front of his mind. He seemed to see him everywhere he turned. He was lucky to be out with a girl like Danielle, truly, she was envied by every girl and desired by every guy. But, for some reason, Liam just couldn’t get into her, and he thought at last, maybe it had something to do with the fact he was gay.

“Look, Danielle,” Liam interrupted and they stopped on the side of the street. “You’re great, you truly really are. I think you’re amazing. But I’m just…did they even bother to tell you I’m gay?”

Danielle’s eyes widened and her face flushed a bright red, illuminated by the headlights of a passing car, “Oh my God, no. Zayn never mentioned it.”

“Well, I guess there’s a lot you ought to get to know about me then.” Liam laughed, and he offered her his arm. “Come on, I’ll at least get you a drink.”

“I feel so embarrassed,” Danielle muttered later to him from across the table, her head buried in her hand. “How could I be so fucking stupid?”

Liam smiled, “Come off it, love. Not your fault, is it?”

“Well, you’re not exactly…” Danielle began but then pressed her hand to her mouth.

“Not exactly?” Liam goaded.

“I mean…you don’t seem gay,” Danielle finished, hurriedly averting her eyes away from his.

Liam laughed. “I get that a lot.”

Danielle seemed a bit relieved and they began talking some more. Danielle seemed like a funny girl and someone that Niall would be perfect with. He questioned her and Niall’s relationship several times but she just laughed and insisted that he was like a younger brother to her. She pointed out several times that she was friends with a lot of male dancers, and that they were straight, which she never failed to add.

“Danielle, listen, the offer, it’s lovely.” Liam picked his words carefully. “But… I’m just not interested in a relationship at the moment.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean, I just kind of got over this guy.” Liam sighed and picked up his drink taking a long gulp. “It was really rough.”

“What happened?”

So Liam started from the beginning. He wasn’t sure why he was spilling his guts out to this girl that he barely knew. But Danielle had a kind face and she seemed genuinely interested in what Liam had to say. It was refreshing being around a woman that wasn’t his mum for once, actually, and she seemed to understand everything he said until she spoke.

Her voice was harsh. “Wait. So let me get this straight: He didn’t cheat on you?”

“No.”

“He didn’t verbally or emotionally abuse you in any way?” Danielle pressed.

“Well, no...”

“And he told you from the beginning that he  _didn’t_ want a relationship?” Danielle raised an eyebrow.

Liam sunk in his seat and nodded weakly. “Well, yeah.”

Danielle shook her head, “Well, I gotta say, that’s a little low Liam.”

“What? He literally took a giant shit on my chest!” Liam argued back his voice was slurred with the alcohol.

“Literally?” Danielle raised her eyebrows.

“No, of course not literally, that’s gross. What the hell’s wrong with you?” Liam shot back concisely.

Liam lowered his head, struggling to meet her gaze. She made some bullshit excuse for needing to leave and Liam was left there alone with his drink. He knew he was being ridiculous about Louis but he couldn’t stop. It was like Louis was consuming his every single thought and he was just constantly flashing back to all the good memories and all the good times. He was overlooking everything else completely. He could still feel Louis’ hand interwoven in his, tracing his thumb over the outside of Liam’s fingers. He could still feel the warm breath on his neck in the morning as Louis would be practically lying atop of him in his sleep. He missed Louis and he wanted him back. He wanted him back so much it was the only thing he could concentrate on anymore.

 


	4. 500 Days Of Louis part IV

_Day 402_

Liam had to catch a train at noon to downtown London. He was going to Tim’s wedding. He was excited for Tim, because he had finally found the most amazing woman and he was practically giving everyone a raise for no particular reason at all. He didn’t care that Liam didn’t show up for work anymore. Liam actually felt pretty good that day. He was looking forward to going downtown with Niall. He needed a laugh and Niall was always good for that. Liam dug for his phone in his pocket and quickly dialed Niall.

“Hey baby,” Niall answered cheekily.

“Hey, where are you?” Liam was a bit giddy. He loved going places with Niall that had alcohol, especially if it were free alcohol.

“I’m not coming,” Niall replied.

“What?” Liam’s voice raised and he garnered several looks as he boarded the train. “Why the hell not?”

“I hate weddings!” Niall complained. “Besides I met this really, really hot chick last night and she’s in the other room, if you catch my drift.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Liam retorted coldly.

“Bye baby,” Niall cooed and hung up the phone.

Liam sighed and stuffed his phone into his back pocket and continued to find his seat. And as he made his way up the aisles he saw the back of someone’s head, and it looked uncannily familiar. Was it Lou? It had to be Lou. Who else could it be? His thoughts raced throughout his head and he nervously shuffled to his seat. He threw his bag into the empty seat next to him and his eyes widened. He slowly turned his head to look and immediately snapped his head back. It  _was_  Louis.

His chest heaved up and down and suddenly he could hear his voice. “Liam?”

Liam gulped and tried to maintain his cool and smiled shyly up at Louis. “Oh, hey Louis. I must have walked right past you.”

Louis rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet and replied gawkily, “Oh yeah, must have…”

“So you’re going to Tim’s wedding too then?”

“Yeah, I mean, we did work together for such a long time.” Louis nodded. “I love Tim, he’s a great guy.”

“Yeah, he is,” Liam agreed wryly.

“So, um, I was gonna go get some coffee.” Louis was being quite diffident as he continued on uncertainly. “I… I don’t want to impose. Did you want to join me?”

Liam was taken aback and was a little cross. He looked anxiously to the side as if the answer would be waiting there for him.

Sometimes he just wanted to slap Louis across the face. They both knew all the pain that he had caused and then here he came, waltzing right back into Liam’s life. It was almost like nothing had ever happened between them. But Liam wasn’t that sort of a person. He couldn’t just forget those kinds of things; he would never forget just how unhappy he was after Louis.

But despite himself he replied casually, “Yeah, sure.”

As they talked and Louis would toss his head back in laughter, Liam’s feelings began to rekindle. Being around Louis was just intoxicating. He would pull you in just to throw you back out again. He was practically kicking himself the whole time they spoke. And he resisted, he didn’t want to be dragged under again, but it was all he could do to not smash his mouth against Lou’s. He felt like he was in a crowded room screaming and no one could hear him, not even Louis. Louis would occasionally press his fingers to the outside of Liam’s wrist. It was just a little brush, but the contact caused goose bumps to erupt all over Liam’s skin. He felt like his body was on fire.

Once they got to the wedding and witnessed the blooming love between Tim and his blushing bride, Liam glanced over and saw Louis wiping away tears. He tried not to think about it, tried not to let it bother him. He wanted to think that he was the reason for Louis’ tears. He wanted Louis to feel pain, he wanted Louis to hurt the same way he had hurt him, and it was surprising because Liam had never been this malicious towards another human being. But the truth of it was, Louis had hurt him unlike anyone else. And he wanted to hurt Louis back in the same way.

“You always snored.” Louis laughed at Liam over a glass of wine.

The wedding had just ended and they were taking turns at cheaply insulting one another, using their drunkenness as an excuse. They sat at a vacated table towards the back of the building. They didn’t see any other familiar co-workers so just stuck to each other. It felt good to get these things out in the open, and Liam was blunt. He was blunter than Louis and he was a bit angry that Louis just took it without even replying back with a quick barb.

“Well, your feet always smelled,” Liam retorted with snark.

“That was one time!” Louis protested with a laugh.

“No, all the time.” Liam laughed.

“Oh, come on…”

“Well, yeah, that one time especially. But every time, you never wear socks! What do you expect?”

“Your hair looked so dumb in the morning.” Louis sniggered. “I mean it would just stick straight up. It was quite funny.”

As the night was ending they began to slow dance, Liam’s hands around Louis’ hips. Louis’ blue eyes were sparkling up at him and he smiled a slight blush to his cheek and would look away instantly.

Liam liked to think it was just the alcohol, I mean it had to be, Louis was over him. And he wondered just how long it would take for Liam to reach the same point. Louis rested his head upon Liam’s shoulder and pressed their bodies closer together and Liam wanted to just envelope Louis in his arms and never let him go. If he could have it his way, he’d bruise Louis with kisses and his heartbeat would be the only music Liam would need.

“Hey, so um,” Louis whispered softly into Liam’s ear, causing Liam to shiver. “I’m having a party Friday. I was wondering…if you’re not busy, that is….if you’d like to come?”

Liam is hesitant in his agreement, “Yeah, I’m not busy. I’d love to.”

And he wasn’t even sure why he said that. Of course he wouldn’t  _love_ too. He didn’t want to have to be around Louis anymore.

Actually, that wasn’t even true. He always wanted to be around Louis, he just didn’t  _want_  to want to be around Louis. It hurt him that he couldn’t let go, that he was just holding onto something that was unattainable. He knew things would never go back to the way they were before and he was ashamed to admit that was all he really wanted.

The train ride seemed shorter as they finally departed shortly after midnight. Louis had decided to sit with Liam, and he had fallen asleep about ten minutes in. His head had slowly lulled to the side and was now resting on Liam’s shoulder. Liam looked over at him and squeezed the tip of his nose softly and Louis didn’t stir. If only he could have this for one more day. It felt just as it did before and he was practically begging to make it all go back to how it was. He wanted to feel Louis’ heart beat for him instead.

_400_

It was the day of Louis’ big party. He had made sure that he had acquired a blazer from Harry, as he probably dressed nicer than anyone he knew. He made sure his hair was neatly combed and that he was shaved. He wanted to look his absolute best. He climbed the stairs anxiously, his heart pounding and his forehead sweating. He was so close to just turning around and running back home faster than his own legs could carry him. He knocked on Louis’ door and he realized that his expectations were probably raised a little  _too_ high.

Expectations:

Louis would open the door and his mouth would turn up into a huge smile. He would pull Liam in close to him and kiss him on the mouth, his hands snaking and tugging Liam’s hair lightly. It would feel like it had before, and Louis would whisper something dirty in his ear.

“Oh, Liam, I’m so glad you’re here!” Louis would say with a broad smile and pull him by the hand over the threshold.

Reality

Liam knocked on the door and Louis answered, and he faintly smiled and hugged Liam; it wasn’t as warm as Liam was expecting. It felt stiff and awkward. It felt forced. It didn’t even seem like Louis really wanted him here.

“Oh it’s really so lovely to see you, Liam,” and that also feels forced.

Expectations

After the greeting, he would look over the people that all sat around Louis’ living room and nod his head. They’d all raise their glasses and greet him merrily and ask him how he was. Louis would stand next to him looking proud and faintly jealous of all the attention. They would ask him how he had been and he wound announce that he had quit his job and was now the head of a company designing skyscrapers. Louis would tell him how proud he was and would kiss him on the cheek, his hand never leaving Liam’s.

Reality

Liam nodded at the people that sat on the couches and chairs behind Louis and no one even looked his way. It was almost like he was invisible and irrelevant. He felt his stomach begin to sink. He had never just been ignored like this before and Louis brushed past him without saying another word to him, guests hollering his name throughout the entire apartment.

Expectations

He and Louis would seclude themselves from the other guests and lean against the wall talking in hushed tones and stealing kisses. Louis would kiss him like he wanted him to love him. And it would feel just normal it would feel like always.

Reality

“So what is it exactly that you do, Liam?” a random guest asked him, Louis standing above her and looking on completely uninterested.

“Uh, I write greeting cards,” Liam replied though a mouthful of sausage.

The woman grimaced and replied with a faint ‘oh’.

“Liam could be a great architect if he wanted to be,” Louis remarked a bit coolly.

Liam’s shoulders sank as he nodded feebly. He felt embarrassed and unwelcome. Louis was being so standoffish and completely different. He wasn’t as warm and inviting as he had been at Tim’s wedding. He felt his insides flip inside his stomach and got the urge to vomit. He didn’t know why Louis was so keen on tormenting him and it truly hurt his bruised, tender heart. He wanted Louis to atone, to tell him it would all be okay and that they could be friends.

He looked over and saw Louis very close to another man. He was a bit plump and wasn’t even really all that attractive. Liam looked on and frowned and saw Louis press a kiss to the man’s forehead. He had never wished to be in someone else’s shoes more than in that moment.

Expectations

Louis would pull him into his bedroom and quickly leave their clothes in a disheveled pile on the floor. He’d straddle Liam’s knees with his legs and kiss him passionately, his fingers twisting in Liam’s hair. He would moan as Liam would suck on his sweet spot on the side of his neck and palm Liam teasingly. He would spread his legs and Liam would enter him. The press inside would be warm and tight, but he would groan and get accustomed and beg for Liam to go harder, deeper. Liam would wrap his hand around Louis’ swollen cock and beg him to cum for him. Louis would, and would stifle his screaming in a pillow. Liam would come next and collapse against Louis’ sweaty shaking back. They would lay there in their mess and laugh at the sound of the party guests just behind the door. Louis would say he felt naughty, but Liam knew that’s what he loved best.

Reality

What Liam saw next was something that shocked and appalled him. He saw Louis showing off something on his hand.  _It couldn’t be_ , Liam thought his eyes widening. But Louis showed it off proudly and wore it like a badge; it was an engagement ring. And Liam realized exactly what this was. This wasn’t just a casual party. There was reason why he knew none of the guests. This was Louis’ engagement party.

Liam practically threw down his drink as he dashes out of the apartment, and no one even noticed. His lungs were practically burning as he ran down the street. The tears stung his eyes as the air rushes around them. The tears dried and just sort of sat there in his eyes, begging for release but Liam wouldn’t let them fall. He wouldn’t be weak. But he could barely find his way to his apartment because he was sobbing by this point. It had to be a cruel trick of fate. Maybe Louis was right, maybe love was a fantasy. Maybe he had been wrong to think that he could ever teach Louis to love.

_Day 442_

Another dreary office meeting on designing new greetings was conducted that Wednesday. Liam rolled his eyes as the woman who was in charge of the inspirational cards showed a picture of a cat pawing at butterflies on the side of the building. The idea was ‘you can do it’ and Liam felt disgusted at the mere thought of it.

“I’m sorry, but can I say something?” Liam blurted.

Tim looked a little shocked before nodding his head excitedly, “Of course you can Liam.”

“Look, Sarah, no offense to you really. You know that I really like you and think you’re great,” Sarah nodded back, fear flooding her eyes. “But this is total bullshit.”

The whole group gasps aloud in shock and Liam continues on, “See, if the cat goes for the butterflies, he’s gonna die. He’ll fall right off that building. All of this is just bullshit. All of these are so cliché and typical.” He picks up a card that says ‘for my sweetheart’. “Oh, what’s this? I can only imagine, hm, yep, just what I expected. ‘Happy Valentine’s day, baby. I love you.’  Well isn’t that just cute? I really don’t understand why we even need to do this. We’re just sending out the wrong messages. People just buy these cards because they don’t know what to say because they don’t really know what love is. But how do we? How do we even know what we’re talking about? I sure as hell don’t, do you?”

He looked around the table and no one said a word; they were stunned in silence. His own words were ringing in his ears and Niall looked up at him worriedly. He returned his glance with an apologetic look and sighed. “I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore. I quit.”

_Day 450_

Harry was staying the night at Liam’s apartment. Their mother had been worried about Liam and his lack of communication with anyone. Zayn had even said he hadn’t heard from Liam in what felt like ages. Liam sent him an angry text full of cursing because they had just met at the café two days ago. Harry sprawled his body across the couch and Liam sat in the chair across from him and they didn’t speak for a few minutes.

“You need to get over this,” Harry began. “You’re turning pathetic.”

“Look, you don’t know how it feels, alright?” Liam snapped back. “It really fucking hurts.”

“Hey, I’ve been hurt before too,” Harry jabbed his finger into his own chest. “I do know what it’s like. But you’re just being downright pathetic. You’re my brother, I love you, and I hate seeing you like this. But for fuck sake’s Liam, it’s just a guy.”

“But he’s not just anyone.” Liam shook his head. “He’s Louis.”

“I think you’re not really getting it,” Harry sat up and looked at him squarely. “You just keep focusing on all the good times you guys had together but you’re not really focusing on all the other things.”

“But there were so many-“

“No, listen to me,” Harry ordered harshly. “Not all that glitters is fucking gold, mate. You’ve got to really think. Not everything is rainbows and sunshine all the time. Of course you had fights, of course you had issues. Why the hell do you think you’re not seeing each other anymore?”

So Liam did just that. He thought back to when Louis would act coldly toward him in public. When he would usually laugh at Liam’s antics he would just blush and awkwardly slouch away trying to act like they barely knew each other. He’d pull away from Liam in the night when he would get too close. He wouldn’t initiate contact. The calls would stop and it was almost like Louis had fallen off the earth. He remembered all the times that Louis would insult him about not being an architect and just say that he was lazy. Maybe, just maybe, Louis wasn’t as good as Liam thought he was.

He remembered holding an ice pack to his swollen eye, the price he had paid for Louis which he didn’t even appreciate. He remembered all the movies he had taken him to and how much he had made him laugh. And Louis truly did owe him for all the happiness that Liam had supplied him. Happiness just wasn’t something that could be bought, for if it were, Liam would buy a lifetime supply.

_Day 456 to 476_

Liam woke up one morning, sick of feeling sorry for himself and sick of drinking and not showering. He got dressed up in his Sunday best and went and applied for architectural jobs. His résumé was weak, he knew that, but he would show them the sample drawings and they would widen their eyes in shock. Liam knew he was talented and would smile smugly and leave his contact information. He increased his drawings and ideas and managed to actually do something with himself during the day. He was proud of himself for the first time. And Louis’ words still stuck with him.

“Liam could be a great architect if he wanted to.”

And he realized just how right Louis was. If he  _wanted_  to. Of course he was a good architect - there was no denying that. It was just the act of putting pencil to paper; his ideas had to escape his brain first. But something was holding him back. Liam was terrified of rejection; he had been rejected by his father and ever since he was terrified to ask a simple question in fear of someone declining. But he would will himself to get up each day and get a job. He had to do this, if only for himself.

_Day 488_

Liam loved this one spot in the park. It had a comfortable wooden bench and sat on the outskirts of London. It was the best thing for an architect really; he got a perfect view of all the buildings. But now, as he sat there, hair slicked back and his suit finely pressed, all he could think of was Louis. He used to bring Louis here often and Louis would listen intently as Liam would explain his infinite knowledge on the tall structures around them. This spot didn’t really bring him joy anymore. It was hard to be happy here now. And, as he was about to go to his last job interview, the farthest he had ever gotten with a company before, his stomach was twisted in knots.

“Hey Liam!” he heard a familiar voice call behind him. He turned to see Louis approaching him, wearing suspenders and tight white pants. Liam’s whole body ached with the memory of what had been.

He asked if he can sit down, insisting like he usually does that he doesn’t want to impose. Liam sighed and moved his bag to the other side of him and Louis followed suit and sat down. They sat there for a moment, not really saying anything. Liam wanted to scream out in protest at just how close they both were.

“Boy, you look sharp,” Louis exclaimed. “Really, what’s the occasion?”

“Thanks.” Liam smiled. “And a job interview.”

“Finally following your dream, ‘eh?”

Liam nodded and then he saw Louis’ hand a gold band wrapped around his ring finger tightly. He suddenly felt the need to punch Louis square in the jaw but this constant cycle of pain they caused each other wasn’t healthy.

He felt completely betrayed and lied to by Louis, if he was being honest. He felt like everything that Louis had ever told him was a lie. He was completely terrified by the truths that Louis had to offer and he realized that was his biggest downfall in all of this.

“I’m sorry but I just don’t,” Liam began but then stopped abruptly, not wanting to be rude. Louis tossed him a look that he wanted him to go on. “I don’t understand.”

He was gesturing to the golden wedding band. Louis shifted a bit uncomfortably and pressed his fingers to it. He closed his eyes and they just sat there in silence again. Liam just wanted to walk away but he wanted Louis to explain himself. He owed Liam an explanation.

“It’s a funny thing, really,” Louis began, still looking at his wedding band, twisting it around his finger. “It’s just like I woke up one day and I just knew.”

“Knew what?”

Louis turned his head slowly and looked at Liam, “What I was never sure of with you.”

“So you were with him when you danced with me?” Liam questioned heatedly.

“I was.” Louis nodded slowly.

“So why did you dance with me?” Liam demanded.

“Because I wanted to.” Louis shrugged as if the answer was obvious.

Liam rested his head on his chest and let out a huff of air. He was never going to be the one for anyone. And he realized that everything his mother had told him was bullshit. It was all bullshit.

“You know what sucks?” Liam commented coarsely. “Realizing that everything you believe in is total bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit.” Louis shook his head. “It’s just… it’s interesting how things play out really. One day, I was just sitting in a café by myself reading Dorian Gray and some guy comes up and asks me about it, and now we’re married. And Stan’s just wonderful. I think that’s just crazy.”

“How is that crazy?” Liam scowled.

“Well, what if I’d gone to the movies? Or went somewhere else for lunch? What if I had been reading a different novel? And I couldn’t help but think to myself, ‘Liam was right’ and-“

“No.” Liam laughed, cutting him off.

“Yes!” Louis insisted with an ecstatic smile. “I was just thinking that all you said about soul mates and fate and stuff… well, it’s true. It’s all very true. And you were right, Liam. It just wasn’t me you were right about.”

Liam sagged his shoulders in defeat, because he knew that Louis was right. He knew that Louis wasn’t the one and that he ought to just give up, but he just felt it tugging at his heart strings. He couldn’t shake the feeling that they would end up together someday. He didn’t know when or how he just knew that it would happen. Suddenly, Liam felt the familiar presence of Louis’ hand in his. He looked over at Louis despondently. He hated when Louis would do things like this and get his hopes up all over again. His face was washed over in pain as he looked at Louis, almost begging him as if to say “Why the  _hell_ are you doing this?” He was flooded with despair and unanswered questions that he needed to justify himself. He bit his lip to fight back tears. And when Louis moved his hand away Liam felt like the bridge between them had completely collapsed. His link to Louis was gone.

Louis sighed and pulled his hand away and got to his feet. “I’m afraid I have to dash. Take care, Liam.”

And, as he walked away, the words just bubbled out of him before he could stop them. “Hey Louis!”

Louis turned around on his heel and looked at Liam with curiosity. Liam took a long breath before saying, “I really hope you’re happy.”

“Only if you mean it.”

“Well, in that case...” Liam trailed off.

Louis threw him a contemptible look before he turned around. Liam wasn’t sure he’d ever see Louis again. He wondered where Louis would be in five years. Where would he be? What would he be doing? He’d like to think he’d be over Louis by then. He’d like to think that his life would be completely different. But Liam felt trapped and like he was being buried alive and no one even cared.

_Day 500_

Liam climbed the marbled staircase to the conference room. He had gotten a call back to the job he had applied for last. He pulled on his suit again and combed back his hair and prepared himself for the no he was so used to receiving. He checked in and the man replied that they’d see Liam in about five minutes. Liam saw that he had competition with a man that was also sitting in a suit. He had sandy blonde hair and thick eyebrows. He smiled up at Liam a bit coyly and Liam felt a blush rise to his cheeks.

He sat down diagonally from him in a vacant chair and he said cumbersomely, “So, I guess you’re my competition.”

The man chuckled a little and replied, “So it would seem.”

“I’m Liam,” Liam reached across and grabbed the man’s hand and shook it.

“I’m Andy,” Andy replied shaking Liam’s hand graciously.

“Well, um, in that case, I hope you don’t get the job,” Liam said tensely with a laugh.

Andy laughed and answered, “Well, I hope you don’t, either.”

Liam was just about to reply with something witty before they called his name. He shook hands with Andy again before departing. As he strolled down the hallway, he realized that he had forgotten something. He apologized to the man abruptly and dashed back down to the sitting room. Andy raised his eyebrows in amusement as Liam approached him.

“Hi, so, um, I was wondering if, after we’re done… you might like to have coffee or something,” Liam suggested, hoping he wasn’t coming across as too forward.

Andy was slow in replying, but he looked intrigued. “Yeah, sure.”

Liam mumbled a thank you before sprinting back down the hallway. And he began to realize that perhaps Louis was right. He began to think about fate and how maybe things that happened weren’t just by chance. He realized that maybe his meeting with Andy wasn’t just a coincidence, but maybe it was how things were supposed to happen. His heart was racing throughout the whole interview and throughout all of Andy’s. He believed his mother now; maybe when you met the one, it wasn’t going to be how you imagined it. It would be scary and they would have you hanging on the edge of your seat. And this is exactly what Andy did for Liam. He challenged him in ways that no one else had.

_Day 1_

That’s a whole other story.


End file.
